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A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year...

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

TEACHER: What do you want to be when you grow up? JUNIOR: I want to be a doctor. TEACHER: Hmm... I wouldn't come to your office with the grades you're making. JUNIOR: I...