How will I know when I'm in love?

If you are a woman:

• You will experience feelings of excitement, joy and desire.
• You will place the other person's happiness above your own.
• Your friends will hate you.

If you are a man:

• Your wallet will be lighter.
• You will hit things less.
• You will no longer be fun.

If you are a robot:

• You cannot feel love. Proceed to repair bay to correct this anomaly.