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A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year-old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks: "What are these, Dad?" To which the man matter-of-factly replies: "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex." "Oh...
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One day, Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and, during her questions about his life, she asked him how he managed for sex. "What's that?" he asked. She explained to him what sex was, and he said, "Oh,Tarzan use hole in...
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A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway bench next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and...
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A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, "Wife, we're going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog." The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!" "Look! We're going fishing and that's final!" "Do I have to go fishing with...
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Ralph is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realizes that it his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present. He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, "How much is that barbie in the window?" ...
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Three women sitting in a bar having a drink. Their boyfriends are all named Georgie. One day they decide to name their boyfriends after soft-drinks to tell the difference between them. The first one says, "I'll name mine 7-UP because he's seven...
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One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor." His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a...
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Once there was this man whose car broke down. He realized after looking for help for ten minutes that there was a small farmhouse with an old lady sitting on the porch. He told her his unfortunate story and she gladly let him in. But first she told...
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It is the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere, two cars both slightly cross over the white line in the centre of the road. They collide and a fair amount of damage is done, miraculously neither driver is hurt. They both get out. One is a...
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WOMAN: Is there a problem, Officer? OFFICER: Ma’am, you were speeding. WOMAN: Oh, I see. OFFICER: Can I see your license please? WOMAN: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one. OFFICER: Don’t have one? WOMAN: Lost it four times for drunk driving. ...
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