Medical Jokes

A girl walks into a doctor's office. The doctor was awed by her beauty and all his professionalism goes right out the window.He tells her to sit. Then he starts to rub her thighs...

An old man was bitten by a dog. After several weeks, he became violently ill. The doctor examined him and said, "You have been bitten by a rabid dog and you are dying of...

An unconscious man was rushed into a clinic by his brother and the following conversation ensued DOCTOR: What's wrong with him?BROTHER: He just slumped!The doctor checked the...

A pregnant woman was involved in a car accident and falls into a deep coma.Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she...

DERMATOLOGIST: Good News my dear, after looking through your test results I'm happy to report you will no longer be plagued by pimples.GIRL: Wow! That's great! Why?DERMATOLOGIST:...

A doctor wrote on his clinic signboard, "Any treatment is $500 and if we cannot treat you, we will pay you $1000."Wanting the $1000 for himself, A guy named Akpos came to the...

First year UNILAG medical students were attending their very first anatomy class. They all gathered around the table which had a real dead body on it. The Professor, Mr. Akpos,...

DOCTOR: Do you exercise daily to keep healthy? AKPOS: Yes doctor... I play football and tennis daily.DOCTOR: Good! How long do you play?AKPOS: I play till the battery on my phone...

Akpos is terribly overweight, so his doctor puts him on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time...

MAN: I am getting married. How would I know if my wife is a virgin?DOCTOR: Get a Virginity test kit.MAN: What's that?DOCTOR: Get a can of red paint, a can of blue paint and a...

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