Funny Sayings

I always hated weddings because the elderly would come over and poke me saying "You're next." They stopped doing it when I started doing it to them at funerals.

Men at 25 play football.Men at 40 play tennis.Men at 60 play golf.Notice how as they grow older, their balls get smaller?

BOY: May I hold your hand?GIRL: No thanks! It's not heavy.GIRL: When we are engaged, will you give me a ring?BOY: Sure! What is your number?BOY: I love you so much I could die for...

The best way to kill a lady is to buy her a golden watch, expensive clothes, bangles, shoes, make ups and trousers then lock her up in a room without a mirror.

1. When you take a long time, you're slow. When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough. 2. When you don't do it, you're lazy. When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy. 3....

How A Guy Uses an ATM 1. Pull up to ATM 2. Insert card 3. Enter PIN number and account 4. Take cash, card and receipt How A Woman Uses an ATM: 1. Pull up to ATM 2. Check makeup in...

Every man has been commended by a woman after sex with these same words, "No one has ever made me feel the way you do." Now I wonder who the big liar is if they say that to every...

FATHER: Dont you think our son gets all his brains from me?MOTHER: Probably. I still have all of mine.

A very dangerous snake, which has astonished scientists in the whole world, has been discovered today. According to the BBC, it's a strange snake which keeps increasing 0.5...

Ladies, if you are tired of guys who keep on inboxing you silly questions, here are some few tips on how to answer them:Question: "Hey beautiful, what are you busy with?"Answer: "...