Family Jokes

Little Johnny asks his mother her age. She replies, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question." Johnny then asks his mother how much she weighs. Again his mother replies, "...

Dad: Who do you like more, Mum or Dad?Son: Both.Dad: Ok if I go to America and your mum goes to Paris, where will you goSon: ParisDad: That means you like your mum more?Son: No, I...

An Arab student sends an e-mail to his dad, saying: Dear Dad,Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college...

DAD: When I beat you, how do you control your anger ?SON: I start cleaning the toilet.DAD: How does that satisfy you ?SON: I clean it with your toothbrush..

SON: Dad, what is an idiot? Dad: An idiot is someone that explains his ideas in a strange way that no one understands. Do you understand? SON: No

An old farmer wrote to his son who was in prison "...this year I won't b able to plant potatoes and other things because I can't dig the field, I know if you were here you would...

DAD: Akpos, if Mr John asks after me, tell him I'm not around. How will you tell him when he comes, cos i know you are funny?AKPOS: When he comes, I will say my daddy said I...

Akpos: Mum, I have good news for you. Mum: What is that? Did you finally pass your Waec. Akpos: Mum, goodnews and miracle don't have the same...

Akpos wrote a later to his father saying "papa condition is critical at school, send money or suicide will be committed" then the father replied "condition is more critical at...

A young girl in her teens got pregnant. Her father was so furious, he asked her who was responsible for the pregnancy and she said told him a rich famous chief. He called the...