Marriage Jokes

The government announced that if you have 5 children your salary will be increased by 50 percent. A man heard the news and said to his wife, "Darling, I have a kid with my...

A conversation between an husband and wife in their bedroom getting ready to have sex.HUSBAND: Dear, you should have this hair shaved a bit.WIFE: [Rolls her eyes] Yea! heard that...

A man brought a new computer home and asked his wife to set it up. The following day, when he got back from work he really needed to use the computer so he quickly put it on and...

After 24 years of marriage, a wife accuses her husbandWIFE: Ever since we got married he has never uttered the words "I love you". JUDGE: Is this true?HUSBAND: Yes! Ever since I...

A newly wed couple moves into their house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says!WIFE: Honey, you know in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking,...

A married couple is driving along the highway doing a steady forty miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband abruptly looks across at her, speaking in a clear...

A man comes back from work at night and heads straight to the bedroom to make love to his wife. He got into the blanket and they made a quick one. When he is done, he goes to the...

A man takes his seat at a world cup final. He looks to his left and notices that there is a spare seat between himself and the next guy.MAN: Who would ever miss the world cup...

A man married very pretty girl and after the wedding, laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want - and I don't expect any hassle...

WOMEN: A wife was not at home for the whole night. The next morning, she tells her husband that she stayed in her girlfriend's apartment. The husband calls 10 of her best friends...