Marriage Jokes

A lady came to see her doctor and the following conversation ensued: LADY: Doctor please call in my husband. DOCTOR: Trust me, I am a gentleman.LADY: No doc, your nurse is sitting...

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."I said...

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was...

After 15 years of marriage a wife asked her husband to describe her.He looked at her slowly and then said : "A-B-C-D-E-F-G- H-I-J-K"."What does that mean?" she asked."Adorable,...

Akpos' wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a long while sitting before the mirror applying the "miracle" products, she...

Osas,was embarking on a long trip and decides his wife should wear steel underwear. He locks the underwear and gives the key to his best friend Akpos, saying "If i don't come back...

Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that there airplane." And every year Martha would say, "I...

A cockroach's last word to a man who wanted to kill it "Go ahead and kill me, you coward. You are just jealous that I make your wife scream more than you do when I climb her!"

Be careful who prints your wedding programme! A printer was asked to put 1 John 4:18 on a wedding programme but he made a mistake Instead he printed John 4:18.1 John 4:18 says "...

An old man was wondering if his wife had a hearing problem. So one day, he stood behind her while she was sitting in her chair. He spoke softly to her, "honey, can you hear me?"...