All Jokes

WIFE: Honey!!! Where are you?!HUSBAND: Yeah baby! I'm in the toilet!WIFE: What are you doing in the toilet?HUSBAND: I'm cooking beans for dinner!

On a passenger flight, the pilot comes over the public address system as usual to greet the passengers. He tells them at what altitude theyll be flying, the expected arrival time...

Little Johnny comes home from sunday school with a black eye. His father sees it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?" "But...

Tomorrow, Saturday, is Valentines Day, make sure you treat your wife/girlfriend well, take her to a movie then to a 5 star dinner and generally keep her happy.So on Sunday, the...

As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out, "Anyone here know how to pray?" One man stepped forward. "Aye, Captain, I know how to pray." "...

Question: What did the penis say to the balls?Answer: You guys just hang around while I go inside.

A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke, but he was alright because it was a soft drink.

FATHER: Happy birthday son! What do you want me to buy for you as a gift?SON: An Iphone 6 dadFATHER: I think your birthday have been cancelled.

At a party, the host was getting worried because there were too many people and not enough refreshments. He was sure that not all of these people had been invited but didn't know...

A man calls into the police station and says, "My wife is missing." The officer asks, "How long has she been gone?" "A month." "Why did you wait so long to report it?" "Well,...